Fancy Kittels, Mixed Messages, and the Tides of Symbolism

UPDATED MARCH 2010/NISSAN '70 and APRIL 2019/NISSAN '79;

In an earlier post, which discussed Hiddur Mitzvah and conspicuous virtue, I wrote the following:



The expensively tailored frilly, lacy, kittel -- a garment that is supposed to remind us of the fragility of life and its inevitable end, a garment that symbolizes simplicity, humility, and the rejection of materialism -- is evidence of either obliviousness or insanity, and deserves a post of its own. And  some pictures.

1. Don't tell me about the enormously expensive white cloak worn by the Kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur, the Pilusin. That is entirely different: the wearing of that garment is an intrinsic part of his Temple service, and the garment is inherently holy.  Also, you don't bury him in them; on the contrary.  The garment is buried after Yom Kippur and never used again.

2. Please don't tell me about Rebbes that have silk-and-silver-trimmed, fur-collared Kittels. If there are, I don't want to know about it.

3. If your wife or your father in law bought your kittel for you, then it's not your fault. It just means they love you.

HOWEVER: Lakewood Guy mentioned that his wife wants to buy him a fancy kittel for the seder.  When he pointed out the incongruity of a fancy kittel, she said that he can use the fancy one for the seder, and his simple Yom Kippur kittel for his funeral le'achar mei'ah ve'esrim shanim tovim ve'aruchim. It would seem that she is making a valid point, and that the symbolism of the kittel is not at all the same on those two occassions. On Yom Kippur, it symbolizes purity from sin and reminds us of the day of death.  For Yom Kippur, then, the kittel should be unadorned. At the Seder, it  symbolizes Cheirus, freedom, and there is no reason to not make it beautiful. Under the chuppah, well, whether it symbolizes yom hamissah depends on who you're marrying, and whether it symbolizes purity depends on why you're marrying her.

HOWEVER II: Unfortunately, the Taz in OC 472 SK 3 says that the reason we wear a kittel at the Seder is so that our simcha doesn't get out of hand, especially after drinking four cups of wine. We wear the kittel to temper our joy by reminding ourselves of the day of our death. The Taz was a Litvak. Anyway, I haven't found anyone that disagrees with the Taz. And he means it le'halacha, because he applies the reasoning to pasken that an Aveil may wear a kittel during the first year seder.  See Hilchos Yom Kippur, OC 610:4, Rama: we wear the kittel on Yom Kippur for two reasons: to symbolize angelic purity, and to remind ourselves that every passing second brings us closer to the abyss. There, too, the Taz says that the first reason would preclude an Aveil from wearing the kittel, while the second would allow it, and he follows the second reason.  So: I would like to agree with LakewoodGuy's wife. The Taz, on the other hand, says she's wrong. For the sake of a healthy marriage, I would say that our wives really don't need to know about the Taz; I know my wife would find the Taz surprising. So just be quiet and let her buy you a fancy kittel for the seder.

After I wrote this, LkwdGuy directed me to the Igros Moshe in Yoreh Deah 4 61:7, where he writes one thing I found surprising, and one thing I found remarkable.
Brief review of the teshuva: Can an aveil wear a kittel on Yom Kippur and Pesach. Answer-- there are two reasons we wear a kittel; one is joy and grandeur, Simcha and chashivus, that we are like malachei hashareis, the holy angels, and the other is to emphasize the somberness of remembering the yom hamisa and our shrouds. However, he says, the latter symbolism is utterly lost on the people of our time, and nobody gives a thought to the sobering idea of wearing the garment we will be buried in. Therefore, by default, the dominant semiotic is the former, that of simcha, and this is inappropriate for an aveil, and therefore he should not wear the kittel.

What I found interesting was his statement that the "malach" symbol applies to Pesach as well as Yom Kippur, when neither the Taz nor the Magen Avraham say that. The Taz only says "dual yom misah and malach" on Yom Kippur, but on Pesach says only yom misah. The Magen Avraham, who discourages an aveil from wearing the kittel on Pesach, does not say so because it is a symbol of chashivus and simcha, which he would if he held like Reb Moshe. Instead, he says that an aveil should not wear a kittel on Pesach because "belav hachi libo nichna," that even without the kittel his heart is humbled. If he held like Reb Moshe, he would have said that the reason for an aveil to not wear it is because of the malach/simcha/chashivus component. But no matter. Reb Moshe says it, and finished. I also found it in Rabbi Felder's sefer on Aveilus, Mourning and Remembrance, which is based on Reb Moshe's psakim.

Secondly, I found the Aruch Hashulchan in 610:2, in Hilchos Yom Kippur, that says a very similar thing. He brings the Taz about the dual symbolism, and says that, and I translate, "the main reason is because it is white and clean and a garment of honor. An additional reason is because the minhag is to use it to bury the dead, and so when wearing it, one remembers the day of death and this will help for teshuva. So an aveil should not wear it because he should not beautify himself during his aveilus." Hence, the Aruch Hashulchan is saying that the main purpose of the kittel is as a garment of honor. (I don't know if this is exactly like Reb Moshe; it seems to me that Reb Moshe, while agreeing to this in regard to current reality, would disagree as to which is the primary original meaning.)

The most remarkable thing in Reb Moshe's teshuva is his saying that the somber aspect of the kittel is, today, irrelevant, because people simply do not see it that way. Since people now see it more as a garment of honor and beauty, then that is what it means le'halachah, and it is therefore inappropriate for an aveil in the first year.

So, where do we stand? There are four interesting ideas that arise from our discussion.

1. The kittel communicates two completely different messages: the sobering reminder of how short and fleeting our lives are, and a joyous image of angelic beauty and grandeur. This one garment is intended to elicit two diametrically opposed emotions. (Rabbis: I highly recommend this topic for a drasah that discusses how the two are not, really, contradictory at all. While most relevant to Sukkos, when we beautifully decorate a dwelling that is inherently flimsy and temporary, it has relevance to the Seder as well, of course.)

2. Reb Moshe (regarding what the kittel means to the people of our time), and the Aruch Hashulchan (as a general matter), both say that the currently halachically dominant symbolism of the kittel is the second one, that of angelic beauty and grandeur, at least insofar as aveilim are concerned.

3. Therefore; according to the Aruch Hashulchan, there's nothing very wrong with a fancy kittel. It would, however, vitiate the second meaning of the kittel, and while he says the first meaning is the primary reason, that does not mean that the second reason does not exist at all. It is secondary, but still extant. The appropriate thing, then, would be to wear a kittel that can communicate both meanings. According to Reb Moshe, while a kittel really carries a somber message, it is inappropriate for Aveilim because it is perceived as a joyous garment. For the rules of the behavior of an aveilus, perception is more important than reality, because aveilus is kibbud and honor of the niftar, and honor is, by definition, subjective. So according to Reb Moshe, one might say that a fancy kittel is appropriate, or one might say that it is inappropriate, since inherently, the message is, at least partly, the reminder of yom hamissah, even if nobody knows or cares about that symbol.

But: I still say that there is no justification for totally tossing out the universally agreed meaning of the kittel as a mazkeres yom hamissah. The reasonable thing would be to wear a beged that comfortably comprises both symbolic meanings, a tabula rasa.  AND THAT MEANS A SIMPLE, ELEGANT KITTEL! 

4. I can be wrong too. “Certainty is not the test of certitude. We have been cocksure of many things that were not so.” Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I would never read the Taz like Reb Moshe does, and the Magen Avraham almost certainly says like me, but my opinion against Reb Moshe's is a sneeze in a hurricane, and his teshuva and the Aruch Hashulchan can certainly be read as justifying fancy kittels. The Aruch Hashulchan doesn't mean that, and neither does Reb Moshe. But they can be read that way. So fancy kittels are not absurd; they are just wrong.

I still say that if your kittel is bespoke, it bespeaking about you.

Postscripts:

• The Maharal says that the Kittel is a celebratory expression of the joy and purity created by the Seder.  See Maharal page 41, where he talks about the color white being unadulterated and pure, and how this alludes to the geula which stemmed from the olam elyon without any isarusa d'le'eila or any olam hamurkav, whatever that means.
• The Netziv in his Hagada, as told to me by Chaim B., says that you wear a Kittel whenever you eat korbanos, and so we wear it while we reenact achilas Korban Pesach. I haven't taken down the hagados yet, so I haven't seen it inside, but I assume the Netziv is referring to the interesting Rambam in 10 Klei Hamikdash, the very last halacha in Hilchos Klei Hamikdash, which I bring in the comments along with something from the Lubavitcher Rebbe.
• The Malbim in his Hagada says from Reb Yechiel Heller that it comes from the Mechilta "Metzuyanim sham," because in Shabbos 145b it says that the Talmidei Chachamim in Bavel were metzuyanim in their clothing and Nedarim 20b, where it says that talmidei Chachamim are metzuyanim in their clothing like the malachei hashareis, and by malachim it says "levush habadim," and that means white.  Apparently, he means that the Jews in Mitzrayim wore white clothing.
• The Sifsei Chachamim in Megilla 31a says it's a remez to techiyas hameisim, a reminder of the resurrection, which will take place during Nissan.
• Rav Yosef Ber Soloveichik said that the Kittel is just another shinui. (I didn't see this inside, either, but if he said this, I think it's just not fair. As I've written elsewhere, when Chazal say that we do things at the seder just for shinui, they were not telling us the whole story. See http://havolim.blogspot.com/2007/03/shtei-pamim-dipping-at-seder-two.html)
• A Talmid, in the comments, says that Reb Leibaleh Eiger said that it symbolizes the levanim worn by a niddah, a zav, or a zavah, who is beginning the process of tahara, and we, too, are beginning the seven weeks of preparation for Matan Torah. I really, really have issues with this 'pshat,' and I would guess that even he didn't mean it seriously. But I'm doing a list, so who cares.  POSTSCRIPT: I saw a Chasam Sofer (his peirush on Mah Nishtana) that gives meaning to this pshat. The Chasam Sofer says that the Seuda and the Matzos are not like a Korban Todah, which commemorates the past. If it were, it would include Chametz. It is instead like a Korban Milu'im, or the Korban of the Nazir, which only has Matza. He explains that the purpose of the Seder is to make us realize not what happened in the past but rather what opportunities we are given for the greatest spiritual accomplishments. It is not a focus on the past, it is a focus on opportunities for the future. If so, it certainly makes sense that the Kittel would be the begged worn by a person who is beginning a new process, who takes the first step in a progress towards Mattan Torah.
• Bnei Yissaschar says that it recalls the fact Lo shinu malbusham, that wearing distinctive clothing in Mitzrayim helped us maintain our identity and contributed to the Geula.  This is like the Malbim.
• Here's a creative one, quoted from the Peirush on the Hagadah called Mah Yakar, (Reb Yehuda Halpert tells us that Mah Yakar is a commentary on הגדה של פסח כלי יקר by רב יהושע חיים ; גריססגאטט who compiled all of the commentsof the Kli Yakar in other places and put them into a hagadah, and then he compiled his own commentary on the Kli Yakar comments.called Mah Yakar.)    The Galus Mitzrayim was set into motion  by the envy engendered by Yosef's Kesones Pasim.  We wear a white, simple garment that first of all is by its simplicity and lack of color exactly the opposite of the Kesones Pasim, and also is considered the symbol of the fungible garment, as seen in the Mishna in Taanis, where the women would wear klei lavan so that they were all dressed the same.  This idea stems from Rashi in Breishis where he translates ksones pasim with the word Karpas, like chur karpas ut'cheiles, and then Rabbeinu Manoach on the Rambam 8 Chametz U'Matza 2 who makes the connection between the Karpas and the Ksones Pasim. From there it's a short step to saying that the kittel is like an anti-kesones-pasim.
• That's it. I know of other explanations for the kittel, but I just can't bring myself to say over all the silly and irresponsible explanations I've seen and heard.

There comes a point when you find out so much that you don't know more, you end up knowing nothing. Why was the minhag of wearing a kittel started? Ah! I know! We wear the Kittel to make you happy; to keep you sober; because its beautiful; because its simple; to remind us of how we ate korbanos; to wear a garment that is so odd that the children will wonder why you're wearing it, to wear a garment that is immediately obvious as being Jewish....
Perhaps the lesson of the kittel is this:

There is a minhag for married men to wear a kittel.

The reason for the minhag is unclear, and ranges all over the map.

BUT THERE IS NO MINHAG TO KNOW WHAT THE KITTEL MEANS. Most people think nothing at all, or, according to Reb Moshe, they are oblivious of its original intention. It's almost as if the minhag is to not know what it means.

So; Wear the kittel, and YOU CAN DECIDE WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU!  (see, e.g., my discussion about breaking a plate at a tna'im here.)

You're a free agent. I've listed the Taz, the Magen Avraham, the Maharal, the Aruch Hashulchan, the Netziv, the Kli Yakar and Rav JB. And Reb Leibaleh Eiger and the Bnei Yissaschar. You have a nice and far ranging list of reasons for the kittel, or you can make one up, if you like.
Or, all the themes work together. Gilu bire'ada, enjoying the opportunities to do mitzvos and simply having pleasure from the gift of a beautiful Olam Hazeh that we enjoy and use for avodas Hashem, all the while remembering that we must temper our enjoyment with the unblinking awareness of our responsibilities and the limited time we have to acheive them. This is the same idea with korbanos: enjoy achilas kodshim, but remember that you are eating mishulchan gavo'ah, and that the experience should be viewed as a means of spiritual growth. It is through this human simcha shel mitzvah, a physical experience that ties our bodies to our cheilek elo'ah mima'al, that hashra'as hashechina comes.
~
In the spirit of even-handedness, here's a picture of the trim on a nice kittel, available for around $180+ at Greenfield Judaica. Better lean ALL the way over when you're drinking the arba kosos, because you don't want to get this one stained.  (Update: there are much more expensive kittels available now.)



IMPORTANT UPDATE:
I recently was thinking about this, and I realized that the entire discussion is based on a fundamental and pervasive error, and everything I wrote above about the contradictory interpretations of the Kittel is wrong.  I realized this just last week, when I brought up this issue at my Shabbos morning Kiddush, asking "What, exactly, is the reason we wear a Kittel at the Seder?"  One of the guests, Reb Yitzchak Resnick, responded "Because it is symbolic."  His words were, of course, the introduction of an discussion.  But I realized that his one sentence statement is more correct than anything I had heard on the topic.  His sentence was not the beginning of a discussion: it was the entire discussion.  A Kittel is symbolic; it is inherently laden, or charged, with significance.  It is white, it is simple, it is unusual.  That is the root of the idea of a kittel.  It elicits a feeling.  How that set of qualities is applied varies.  It has come to be used for bigdei meisim; it has come to be used to symbolize angels.  It has come to symbolize separation and distinction.  BUT ALL THESE THINGS ARE OUTGROWTHS OF THE INHERENTLY SYMBOLIC NATURE OF THIS GARMENT.  They are not inherent explanations of why we wear the kittel at the seder: they are merely applications of the symbolic nature of this unusual garment. The real purpose of the Kittel is to elicit and stimulate a reaction and a response.

So, the answer is, we wear the kittel because it is symbolic.  It is unusual; it is white; it is simple; it is clean.  What specific association to the seder does the kittel have?  There is no definitive answer to that question.     The 'electric charge' of the kittel, the unusual quality of the kittel, the stimulus to our seder experience, is all that matters.  No specific association was intended, and a multitude of interpretations are all equally valid.  To a great extent, the seder experience is based on questions, and the stimulus to thought is more important than any particular answer; the kittel, too, is a question.  In our tradition, every question ought to produce at least seventy answers.  So, what meaning should we read into the kittel at the seder?  Gilu Bir'ada is probably the best way to put it, if only because Gilu Bir'ada, by its very nature, covers the whole spectrum.  But the main thing is, let your imagination fly.

I finally understand what Rav Yosef Ber Soloveichik meant in saying that " the Kittel is just another shinui." He meant exactly what we are saying here. The Kittel is a symbolic begged. What that symbol comprises changes with every generation. 

ANOTHER IMPORTANT UPDATE:
I am grateful to the yungermahn at my son's kollel who directed our attention to this Matteh Ephrayim/Elef consiLamatteh in tof reish yud , The Matteh Ephraim strongly defends the minhag they used to have to use a kittel with silver around the neck.  I find it very, very hard to understand, but considering that Reb Ephraim Zalman Margoliyos was recognized as a gadol in the generation of Reb Akiva Eiger,the Ketzos and the Nesivos, Reb Mordechai Bennet and the Chasam Sofer, and that he joined the Chasam Sofer in the war against the haskala, it is obvious that if there's a problem of seichel hayashar here, it is mine.  This is especially true in light of his explanation of the minhag and in light of the fact that he was a fantastic gevir who made his fortune in the diamond business.

ANOTHER IMPORTANT UPDATE:
I mentioned above the sefer Mah Yakar which is hard to find online. R Yehuda Halpert kindly sent in a photo of his copy.

Vayikra 1:2. Adam ki yakriv. Conspicuous Virtue (Virtue Signaling)

Rashi brings from Beitzah 20 "Adam ki yakriv," that your korbanos should be like the korbanos of Adam Harishon; just as the korbanos of Adam Harishon could not possibly have been stolen, since the entire world was his, you too may bring korbanos only if they are yours.

Dr. Zvi Krinsky said an interesting pshat in the tzushtell to the korbanos of Adam Harishon. Some people do mitzvos in a special or flamboyant way because they want to impress others; they are very makpid on hidur mitzvah when other people can see what they're doing. When they buy a lulav and esrog, or a Megillah, they are very particular about hidur, but when they buy tzitzis, they don’t spend the time or money to be makpid in hiddur. Some people only daven a long shmoneh esrei when there are people watching. (Two points— spending more for hiddur to show off, and doing mitzvos in a showy way to make people think you are a kadosh. Dr. Krinsky was talking about yuhara; I added hiddur mitzvah.) We should learn from the korbanos of Adam to be mehadeir mitzvos not to impress people— there were no people for Adam to impress— but rather because of our love and respect for the mitzvah itself, or as a way of becoming kadosh. Do the mitzvah le'sheim mitzvah, not le'sheim showing off, or showing how holy you are.

I do not think it is that simple. First of all, Reb Yehuda/Rav's rule (Pesachim 50b) of the rule of Le'olam ya'asok adam bemitzvos afilu shelo lishma.... should apply to hiddur no less than to other mitzvos. But I would argue that this kind of hiddur is not just a bedi'eved, a "mitoch shelo lishma" din, but it might actually be inherently praiseworthy.

The Gemora in Shabbos 133b, Sukah 11b, and Nazir 2b, says "hisna’eh lefanav bemitzvos," which literally means ‘beautify yourself before Him with mitzvos’. This seems to focus on the "beautify yourself with..." aspect more than the "beautify the mitzvah" aspect. The renowned dikduk expert, Rabbi Dr. Avremi Isenberg says that the use of ‘hispa’eil’ (a reflexive construction) doesn't prove anything, because the His'pa'eil form is sometimes used for Pi'eil, just as "ke’ilu hiskabalti" means nothing other than ‘ke’ilu kibalti. However, the difference is that with Hiskabalti, it means "I view myself as if I had received the money." Here, that logic does not apply, and it seems to intend the literal reading of "beautify yourself." Also, the Gemara in Yoma 70a and Sottah 41b says

אח"כ כל אחד ואחד מביא ספר תורה מביתו וקורא בו כדי להראות חזותו לרבים

which means that they brought their sifrei Torah to show other people their beauty, unmistakably indicating that ‘hisna’eh’ is meant literally-- that Chazal encourage us to take pride in how we do mitzvos, to show off how beautiful our tashmishei mitzvah are.

The first instinct, of course, is to see such behavior as vanity or Mechzi keyuhara (which, in this context, would be like "lekanteir, see Tosfos Pesachim 50b). But perhaps there’s nothing wrong with preening or being showy by beautifying a mitzvah that you are doing. Mechzi keyuhara is, of course, a terrible thing. But perhaps that’s only where you are sanctimonious, where you act in a misleading way to fool people into thinking you’re on a higher madreigah than you actually are, because people will emulate you in your other foolish behavior, or because if you later do something bad it will be a chillul Hashem, or, in the case of lekanteir, because you enjoy disparaging others. But showing off how much you spend on a mitzvah, and that your esrog is the nicest one in shul, is not necessarily so bad— it’s not a lie, and it may even foster the other people’s chavivus mitzvos-- it is constructive rivalry. Kin'as sofrim tarbeh chachma, and kin'as gvirim tarbeh ke'vod shamayim.

My son, Moshe, said that the person is only showing off with it because it is something he cares about. If he was indifferent to the mitzvah, he wouldn’t think it worth showing off with; he would spend his money on things that he wants to be identified with more, and just get by with a minimal cheftzah shel mitzvah. While showing off with your cheftzah shel mitzvah may not be a refined middah tovah, it is a middah tovah anyway, and the benefits far outweigh the detriment. Anyway, think of it like jewelry— "mitzva jewelry". It may be that the main purpose of jewelry and fashion is to show off to other people, and this vanity is easy to catergorize as ignoble; but the reality is that people do wear jewelry, and this is considered normal behavior. So why shouldn’t our tashmishei mitzvah be our jewelry? This is somewhat similar to making feasts, which appeal to our desire for good food, for seudos mitzvah. The same way that the satisfaction of our desire for rich and plentiful food, when used lesheim mitzvah, is good, so too satisfaction of the desire to stand out and be envied can be used le’sheim mitzvah.

The first person to comment on this idea said that my suggestion is panglossian and naive. He said that it is more likely that such people are not demonstrating their love for mitzvos. Rather, he sourly said, they simply take note of the things the members of their peer group desire and attribute significance to, and they acquire these things and do them in a showy way so as to demonstrate their superiority and gain the respect of those people, but they themselves really have no interest in the inherent significance of the mitzvah.

I agree that he makes a valid theoretical point. In response, I make a modification will accomodate both our opinions. That is: the exclusively public hiddur phenomenon may be a one step "Capture the Flag" process or a two step "Rolls Royce" process. "One step" is, as he said, that the mitzvah object is an arbitrary symbol of dominance and superiority, just as the Flag in the game of Capture-the-Flag is an arbitrary symbol of victory with absolutely no intrinsic value. It's just a shmatteh. "Two step" would be that the mitzvah is inherently significant, and everyone would enjoy doing it in the best and most beautiful way. On the other hand, the time, effort and expense are impediments to seeking out and buying the best esrog, for example. But since a shining beautiful esrog will elicit everyone's admiration, people are willing to spend more time and money to buy the best one possible. The example would be buying a Rolls Royce. Everyone says that a Rolls is a very stable, powerful, and luxurious car. It is definitely not a shmatteh. But who is crazy enough to spend half a million dollars for it and then worry about birds and gravel? And imagine what the kids in carpool are going to do to it. But it turns necks and elicits awe, and it symbolizes success and power, and so people are willing to spend the money.

So, my friends, you'll have to decide for yourself. In theory, both possibilities are valid: Those people who spend fortunes for mitzvos that others will see, might be playing Capture the Flag, or they might be driving a Rolls Royce.

I heard from Reb Moshe something that, I think, addresses this issue. There was a time when people would have fistfights about aliyos, and sitting on the Mizrach wall was something people would dream about and fight for for years. Now, we are all so much more civilized, and we don't mind not getting shlishi and we sit wherever we sit. Reb Moshe said that this is not because we are more mature. It is because the kavod of the aliyos and the seat in shul mean less to us. We have plenty of ways of finding satisfaction and honor at work and at home and on the golf course, so we just don't care about kavod Beis Haknesses. It's not that we are more understanding, it's that the Shul and Krias Hatorah mean less to us.

I think that something I heard from Reb Yerucham is a very good tzushtell to this topic. Harav Dovid Zupnik Zatzal once told me that he heard in the Mir from Reb Yerucham that Kin'as sofrim is good when you wish the other person would know more and you would still know more than he does, and it's bad when you would be perfectly happy if he knew less, as long as you knew more than him. The first person is motivated only by a desire to establish dominance. The second is motivated by the desire to excell in Torah, both in Gadlus beTorah and in dominance over the field.

The Wall Street Journal had a De Gustibus column on March 23, 2007, by Joseph Rago. He talked about Veblen’s 1899 "Theory of the Leisure Class," in which he introduced the idea of conspicuous consumption, defined as "specialized consumption of goods as an evidence of pecuniary strength." This is, of course, specific to the "expenditure of superfluities." The author of the column updated Veblen’s essay to extend to "conspicuous virtue." People buy more expensive things that are free trade, renewable, cage free, and live strong bracelets, partly, and allegedly, because they want to support the causes these things represent, but to a great degree because they want to proclaim their virtue. (He suggests that this trend has become popular partly because of guilty consciences about consumerism and materialism. That was certainly true in '07, but with the current recession, this fashion has attenuated.)

This is a very nice way of describing the ‘hisna’eh’ attitude: conspicuous virtue, where the motive is partly the underlying mitzvah, but also to proclaim your virtue. In any case, the idea I said above is still true: there is a mixed motivation, but in the final analysis it stems from pride in ability to fulfil the mitzvah– I can be a better eved Hashem than you can be. Jewelry is an example of conspicuous consumption; a nice esrog, a few black Brisker Matzos, silver and vermeil tefillin boxes, are mitzvah jewelry, conspicuous virtue.

The expensively tailored frilly, lacey, kittel, a garment that is supposed to remind us of the fragility of life and its inevitable end, a garment that symbolizes simplicity, humility, and the rejection of gashmius, is evidence of either insanity or obliviousness, and deserves a post of its own. And some pictures.

1. Don't tell me about the bigdei lavan of the Kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur, the Pilusin, that cost a fortune. It's not a tzusthell; a Kohen Gadol's levisha of his begadim is a ma'aseh avodah in itself, and so it is a cheftzah shel mitzvah. Also, you don't bury him in them.

2. Please don't tell me about Rebbes that have silk-and-silver-trimmed, fur-collared Kittels. If there are, I don't want to know about it.

3. If your wife or your shver bought your kittel for you, then it's not your fault. It just means they love you.

HOWEVER: Lakewood Guy mentioned that his wife wants to buy him a fancy kittel for the seder, and said that he can use a simple one for Yom Kippur and at his levayah le'achar mei'ah ve'esrim shanim tovim ve'aruchim. It would seem that she is making a valid point, and that the symbolism of the kittel is not at all the same on those two occassions. On Yom Kippur, it symbolizes purity from sin and reminds us of the Yom Hamissah. For Yom Kippur, then, the kittel should be unadorned. At the Seder, it symbolizes Cheirus, and there is no reason to not make it beautiful. Under the chuppah, well, whether it symbolizes yom hamissah depends on who you're marrying, and whether it symbolizes purity depends on why you're marrying her.

HOWEVER II: Unfortunately, the Taz in OC 472 SK 3 says that the reason we wear a kittel at the Seder is so that our simcha doesn't get out of hand. We wear the kittel to temper our joy by reminding ourselves of the day of our death. The Taz was a Litvak. Anyway, I haven't found anyone that disagrees with the Taz. And he means it le'halacha, because he applies the reasoning to pasken that an Aveil may wear a kittel during the first year seder.

In Hilchos Yom Kippur, OC 610:4 in the Rama, he says that we wear the kittel on Yom Kippur for two reasons: to symbolize angelic purity, and to remind ourselves that every passing second brings us closer to the abyss. There, too, the Taz says that the first reason would preclude an Aveil from wearing the kittel, while the second would allow it, and he follows the second reason.

So: I would like to agree with LakewoodGuy's wife. The Taz, on the other hand, says she's wrong. For the sake of a healthy marriage, I would say that our wives really don't need to know about the Taz; I know mine would blow a gasket (what does that mean??? Too much simcha? Simcha is the mitzvas hayom!!! We've been working for a month to be marbeh simcha!!! What's wrong with simcha???? Who is this Taz????) So just be quiet and let her buy you a fancy kittel for the seder.

IMPORTANT UPDATE:
First of all, I have another post on this issue, a follow up to this discussion.  Second, I have to put in a mareh makom someone sent me that addresses this issue, whether I like it or not:  The Matteh Ephraim/Elef Lamatteh in 610.

Note: the paragraph that was here earlier, which discussed the differences between paskening for mamonus and paskening for kodshim, is in the shop for repair. We can't tell you when it will be ready. Maybe after Pesach.