Lot sought refuge as he fled from the destruction of S'dom. The angels suggested that he find refuge in the mountain, but he did not accept their advice. Something about "the mountain" frightened him. The Medrash (50:11)explains that it was no mountain he was afraid of; "mountain" means Avraham. The angels were suggesting that he go back to his uncle, that he rejoin Avraham. But Lot was afraid to do so, and the rationale for his fear was echoed by the Tzarfis woman in the time of Eliahu. When her son died, the Tzarfis woman came to Eliahu, and she said "Eliahu, until you began visiting me, God saw my actions and those of my neighbors and by comparison I was a holy woman. Now that you visit me, God sees my failings, and this caused my son to die." Here, Lot said, "While I was in Sdom, I was, compared to them, a holy man. If I were to rejoin Avraham, I would not survive."
Rashi here brings the Medrash, 50:11.
פן תדבקני הרעה. כְּשֶׁהָיִיתִי אֵצֶל אַנְשֵׁי סְדוֹם הָיָה הַקָּבָּ"ה רוֹאֶה מַעֲשַׂי וּמַעֲשֵׂה בְנֵי הָעִיר, וְהָיִיתִי נִרְאֶה צַדִּיק וּכְדַאי לְהִנָּצֵל, וּכְשֶׁאָבֹא אֵצֶל צַדִּיק אֲנִי כְרָשָׁע, וְכֵן אָמְרָה הַצָּרְפִית לְאֵלִיָּהוּ בָּאתָ אֵלַי לְהַזְכִּיר אֶת עֲוֹנִי (מלכים א י"ז), עַד שֶׁלֹא בָאתָ אֶצְלִי הָיָה הַקָּבָּ"ה רוֹאֶה מַעֲשַׂי וּמַעֲשֵׂה עַמִּי, וַאֲנִי צַדֶּקֶת בֵּינֵיהֶם, וּמִשֶּׁבָּאתָ אֶצְלִי, לְפִי מַעֲשֶׂיךָ אֲנִי רְשָׁעָה:
The Shem MiShmuel uses this to explain a parsha in Eikev, Devarim 9:4:
אל תאמר בלבבך בהדף ה' אלקיך אתם מלפניך לאמר בצדקתי הביאני ה' לרשת את הארץ הזאת וברשעת הגוים האלה ה' מורישם מפניך.
לא בצדקתך ובישר לבבך אתה בא לרשת את ארצם כי ברשעת הגוים האלה ה' אלקיך מורישם מפניך
ולמען הקים את הדבר אשר נשבע ה' לאבתיך לאברהם ליצחק וליעקב
Do not think, when Hashem drives away the Canaanites from before you, "Because I am righteous Hashem brought me here to inherit this land and because the original residents were wicked Hashem disinherits them." No, it is not that you are righteous, it is because they are wicked, and because Hashem promised the land to your forefathers.
He brings this Medrash to explain what error they were being warned about, what the אל תאמר בלבבך was. Hashem told us "Don't think that the Canaanites are going to die because when you arrive the contrast between your spiritual greatness and their relative failings will tip the scale against them. You're not so special. They were just fundamentally wicked people who deserved to be eliminated irrespective of your presence."
The idea that the צרפית was afraid of being judged negatively because of the contrast between her and Eliahu is also stated in Tosfos in Kiddushin 71a in the name of Avrahan Ger (discussing קשים גרים לישראל כספחת on the previous daf. Interestingly, Tosfos hedges the concept by saying
שמתוך שהוא צדיק גמור היה נראה לה שמזכיר השם עונה
Reb Chaim Brown showed me this idea in the Ohr HaChaim by Kayin and Hevel:
אכן הכוונה היא להיות כי קין נתקנא בהבל בחושבו כי הוא סיבה להשפלתו כי באמצעותו הוכר אופלו, וחשב כי כשלא יהיה הבל במציאות יתרצה ה׳ בקין כי אין עוד אחר לבחור בו, וחשב להורגו,
Let's think about this, a concept that the Tzarfis woman and Lot assumed to be true, and that Hashem had to tell us was not the reason for the elimination of the Canaanites. It appears to mean that people are judged by comparison to the others in their community. That means that the standard of justice is relative to the other people that are being judged. That means that Hashem grades us on a curve.
I choose that expression intentionally. One might read the Medrash and nod his head and agree. But when you realize that this is exactly what grading on a curve is all about, it becomes untenable.
As I understand it, the rationale of grading on a curve is as follows: Prospective employers have an idea of the general quality of the students and the education at any given institution. But they want, and are entitled, to know where an individual student stands within that segment. The only way to rank students is through a curve- these are the best, these are average, and these are on the lower side. This makes perfect sense in a market. It makes absolutely no sense when it comes to Schar ve'Onesh. Another reason to grade on a curve is when the instructor is inexperienced, or emotionally unfit, and might not be educating the students effectively, or the teacher is excessively strict or lenient. If very few students do well on the examination, the problem lies with the teacher, and the students should not be penalized. This is even less applicable to heavenly judgment.
Let me make this more clear with an analogy to the Special Olympics. If you put the winner of the Special Olympics on the medal stand with the winner of the regular Olympics, would anyone denigrate or deride the former? I hope not. You judge the athlete's achievement by his effort and skill in overcoming, in using what he has, not in comparison to the uniquely gifted and physically perfect athlete. It is an entirely different metric. When we say "מתי יגיעו מעשי למעשי אבותי" you don't mean that you should speak to the Ribono shel Olam באספקלריא המאירה or do an akeida on your son. You mean that are the best possible Zeesheh.Reb Moshe, in the Fishelis'es wonderful new Kol Rom, says (Shemos 6:26)דאע"ג שמשה רבנו היה יותר גדול מאהרן, מ"מ היו שקולים במה שכל אחד עבד את ה' בכל כשרונותיו וכוחותיו שהיו לו.והנה כל אדם נולד עם כשרונות וכוחות ואין בזה כל מעלה, כי זו מתנת שמים, אבל כל אחד צריך לעבוד ולשפר את עצמו, ולראות שיקיים את מצורה והמצות בכל כוחותיו, וזה כל תפקידו בעולם.And Reb Chaim Brown said "pshat in the Yalkut on Shir haShirim 7:6 הדלים שברשים הם חביבים לפני כדניאל is because there is relative judgment -- in context of his challenges, the 'dal' may deserve as much credit for whatever he does as Daniel, even though on an absolute scale there is no comparison."
It might be that Chazal are telling us that the idea is totally false, that what the Isha Hatzarfis and Lot thought, and what Bnei Yisrael might have thought, was simply wrong. But I do not believe this is true. We can make mistakes on our own, and if Chazal tell us what some biblical figures were thinking, unless they tell us clearly that they are talking about something which is false, it should be taken seriously.
The initial response I get from people is that Chazal are talking about people who consciously refuse to be influenced by the righteous people to whom they are exposed. They could and should be inspired by them, and emulate them, and their refusal to allow righteousness and spirituality to affect them is a terrible sin, it is an affront to Hashem. You have before you an example of what you ought to be, you have a teacher, and you affect deliberate blindness? That is a terrible sin.
This is certainly true. We are told טוב לצדיק טוב לשכנו, and אוי לרשע ואוי לשכנו (see Rashi Bamidbar 23:29 and 38,) and that means that it is good and wise to associate with a Tzadik because he will influence you to be better, and it is dangerous to associate with a Rasha, because he will influence you to become a rasha like him. It stands to reason that if, despite אוי לרשע ואוי לשכנו, one overcomes the influence of his neighbor the Rasha, and remains a tzadik, as Noach did (see Rashi Breishis 6:9 and Sanhedrin 108a,) it is a tremendous merit; if, despite טוב לצדיק טוב לשכנו, a person rejects the influence of a Tzadik and remains a rasha, it is a terrible sin.
But I don't believe that this explains our Medrash. Lot is one thing: the Isha Hatzarfis is something else entirely. Everything we know about her tells us that she was a holy and righteous person. Hashem sent Eliahu to find shelter in her home, and she merited an awe-inspiring miracle. We have absolutely no right to say that she did not allow Eliahu's presence to inspire her or elevate her spirituality. On the contrary. The operative principal ought to be טוב לצדיק טוב לשכנו.
But I don't believe that this explains our Medrash. Lot is one thing: the Isha Hatzarfis is something else entirely. Everything we know about her tells us that she was a holy and righteous person. Hashem sent Eliahu to find shelter in her home, and she merited an awe-inspiring miracle. We have absolutely no right to say that she did not allow Eliahu's presence to inspire her or elevate her spirituality. On the contrary. The operative principal ought to be טוב לצדיק טוב לשכנו.
So what is the pshat in the Medrash?
Here are some interpretations that we found reasonable.
1. In the censuses in the Midbar, Shevet Levi was the smallest of the tribes. One of the reasons is that their work in the Midbar involved a constant presence in the Mishkan and the carrying of the holy utensils (see, e.g., Rashi in Vayeitzei, Breishis 29:35.) If a Levi was carrying the Aron Kodesh, and his mind wandered, and for a moment he thought about something trivial or foolish, he would die on the spot. Similarly, a Kohen Gadol, while in the Kodesh Kadashim, had absolutely no leeway. Any infinitesimal failure or distraction would be immediately fatal. Being in the area of such holiness creates a condition of Middas Hadin. The same may be true of the environment of a Tzadik, who embodies the kedusha of the Beis Hamikdash.
2. Similarly, we have a passuk in our parsha that says that the degree of Hashgacha on Eretz Yisrael is qualitatively different than that of the Hashgacha on the rest of the world. Devarim 11:11-12 והארץ אשר אתם עברים שמה לרשתה ארץ הרים ובקעת למטר השמים תשתה מים. ארץ אשר ה' אלהיך דרש אתה תמיד עיני ה' אלקיך בה מרשית השנה ועד אחרית שנה. If so, we might say that the degree of Hashgach in the proximity of a tzadik is far greater. Greater Hashgacha means close scrutiny, the kind of examination that every person eventually undergoes, but usually only at the judgment of Beis Din shel Maalah in the Olam Ha'emes after death. Behavior that would otherwise pass might not survive this kind of close scrutiny.
I personally don't like this pshat. To say that being near a tzadik is like walking under a קיר נטוי to the extent that it operates to turn upside down the whole concept of טוב לצדיק טוב לשכנו, and that there is some chiluk between them, doesn't appeal to me. If you like it, זאלסטו זיין געזונט
3. The Chazon Ish says that in our time, people can be defended on the basis of תינוק שנשבה. Life is so confusing, there was an absolute hester panim during the Holocaust, tefilla is totally ignored during the pandemic, and whenever an adam gadol offers guidance others say the opposite. But when you have Eliahu Hanavi in your house, you no longer have a din of תינוק שנשבה.
1. In the censuses in the Midbar, Shevet Levi was the smallest of the tribes. One of the reasons is that their work in the Midbar involved a constant presence in the Mishkan and the carrying of the holy utensils (see, e.g., Rashi in Vayeitzei, Breishis 29:35.) If a Levi was carrying the Aron Kodesh, and his mind wandered, and for a moment he thought about something trivial or foolish, he would die on the spot. Similarly, a Kohen Gadol, while in the Kodesh Kadashim, had absolutely no leeway. Any infinitesimal failure or distraction would be immediately fatal. Being in the area of such holiness creates a condition of Middas Hadin. The same may be true of the environment of a Tzadik, who embodies the kedusha of the Beis Hamikdash.
2. Similarly, we have a passuk in our parsha that says that the degree of Hashgacha on Eretz Yisrael is qualitatively different than that of the Hashgacha on the rest of the world. Devarim 11:11-12 והארץ אשר אתם עברים שמה לרשתה ארץ הרים ובקעת למטר השמים תשתה מים. ארץ אשר ה' אלהיך דרש אתה תמיד עיני ה' אלקיך בה מרשית השנה ועד אחרית שנה. If so, we might say that the degree of Hashgach in the proximity of a tzadik is far greater. Greater Hashgacha means close scrutiny, the kind of examination that every person eventually undergoes, but usually only at the judgment of Beis Din shel Maalah in the Olam Ha'emes after death. Behavior that would otherwise pass might not survive this kind of close scrutiny.
I personally don't like this pshat. To say that being near a tzadik is like walking under a קיר נטוי to the extent that it operates to turn upside down the whole concept of טוב לצדיק טוב לשכנו, and that there is some chiluk between them, doesn't appeal to me. If you like it, זאלסטו זיין געזונט
3. The Chazon Ish says that in our time, people can be defended on the basis of תינוק שנשבה. Life is so confusing, there was an absolute hester panim during the Holocaust, tefilla is totally ignored during the pandemic, and whenever an adam gadol offers guidance others say the opposite. But when you have Eliahu Hanavi in your house, you no longer have a din of תינוק שנשבה.
4. When a tzadik lives near you, you realize that you could be greater, that you should grow. Unfortunately, inertia makes growth difficult. Even if we know we ought to change, it is difficult to act upon what we know. Sometimes, people only change in reaction to a traumatic event that forces them to reexamine their lives. In cases like that, Hashem might help that person take that difficult step by shaking them up, by bringing difficult challenges to them.
UPDATE November 2024.
I just saw a book by Artscroll on Rashi, and they address this question and bring to sources I was not aware of.
Kochvei Or #12; that the Isha HaTzarfis believed that she had initially not appreciated the gadlus of Eliyahu and therefore had not taken advantage of the opportunity to learn from him, and was punished for that failure. See also Tiferes Tzion to Breishis Rabbah there.
Rav Shlomo Wolbe, Shiurei Chumah; a person who lives among resha'im and maintains his level of yiras shamayim, this itself is a great zechus and he is viewed as righteous. But if a person is near a tzadik, he doesn't have to fight to overcome any challenge, and is therefore judged according to what he is.
In my opinion, the Gur Aryeh is fully aware of your thinking. His answers are not convincing to you b/c they are referencing concepts of a deeper nature and that's why he ends off by insisting דבר זה מופלא ואמת.
You will note the שם/בנים connection in יבום among many others.