Link to Original in Hebrew
The following is a translation done by my friend, Dr. Baruch Fox.
The Chasam Sofer’s Incredible Explanation
The Shalom of Shabbas Is a Vessel that Stores Abundant Influence for All Six Weekdays
In this week’s parsha, parshas Vayakhel, we read (Shemos 35, לא תבערו אש בכל מושבותיכם ביום השבת" :( 3 "—you shall not light fire in any of your dwellings on the Shabbas day. In this essay, we wish to focus on the statement in the Tikunei Zohar (Tikun 48, 85a) that this passuk also constitutes a warning to every Jew not to get angry on Shabbas. For, the flames of his anger kindle the fire of Gehinnom. At first glance, once might wonder: Isn’t anger considered a despicable trait even during the other six days of the week?
In fact, we have learned in the Gemara (Pesachim 66b): "כל אדם שכועס, אם חכם הוא חכמתו מסתלקת ממנו, אם נביא הוא נבואתו מסתלקת ממנו" —any person who gets angry, if he is a wise man, his wisdom leaves him; if he is a prophet, his prophecy leaves him. The Zohar hakadosh takes an even more extreme view concerning the characteristic of anger (Bereishis 27b): "כל הכועס כאילו עובד עבודה זרה" —anyone who gets angry, it is as
if he worships other gods. Therefore, why is it necessary to provide an additional warning: "You shall not light fire in any of your dwellings on the Shabbas day"? Additionally, the warning to avoid anger is a constant throughout the week.
This question is addressed by the Reishis Chochmah (Sha’ar HaKedushah 7). He cites the aforementioned Tikunei Zohar and adds the following clarification: "ובודאי כי האזהרה הזו לעולם אנו צריכין אותה, שלא לכעוס אפילו בחול שלא להדליק אשו של גיהנם, אלא שביום שבת הפגם הוא לאין תכלית, כי מאחר שאשו של גיהנם נתבטל מכל וכל וזה מדליקו מחדש, עונשו גדול מאד". Certainly, this warning is constantly in effect; it is essential to avoid anger even during the week, so as not to kindle the fire of Gehinnom. On Shabbas, however, the damaged caused is immeasurable. For, on Shabbas, the fire of Gehinnom is completely extinguished, and this person’s anger lights it anew; hence, his punishment is great.
In my humble opinion, the Reishis Chochmah’s question can be answered quite simply. Undoubtedly, anger must be avoided even during the six weekdays. On Shabbas, however, the warning takes on another dimension. For, it is especially important to be pleasant and considerate at home, so as not to anger others—so as not to kindle the fire of Gehinnom in one’s own house. With this explanation in mind, we can appreciate the specific language employed by the passuk: "You shall not light fire in any of your dwellings on the Shabbas day." In other words, do not allow your actions or words to incite anger at home, in your dwelling.
We can provide substantiation for this interpretation from the following Mishnah (Shabbas 34a): "שלשה דברים צריך אדם לומר בתוך ביתו ערב שבת עם חשיכה, עשרתם, ערבתם, הדליקו את הנר" —there are three things a man must say in his home on erev Shabbas just before dark: "Have you tithed?" "Have you prepared the
eiruv?" And "Kindle the lamp." Commenting on the Mishnah’s teaching, the Gemara states: "אמר רבה בר רב הונא, אף על גב דאמור רבנן שלשה דברים צריך אדם לומר וכו’, צריך למימרינהו בניחותא כי היכי דליקבלינהו מיניה" —Rabbah bar Rav Huna said: "Even though the sages said that there are three things a man must say, etc.,
nevertheless, one must strive to say these things delicately, so that his family will accept them from him.
Thus, we find an explicit admonition from our blessed sages to speak pleasantly in our homes on erev Shabbas as nightfall approaches. Apropos to our current discussion, this admonition is included in the prohibition of: "You shall not light fire in any of your dwellings on the Shabbas day." We must take
care not to incite the flames of anger or the fire of Gehinnom with the words we speak in our homes.
The Satan Attempts to Upset Our "Shalom Bayis" on Every Erev Shabbas
How pleasant and rewarding it is to fulfill the wish of Yisrael’s sweet psalmist (Tehillim 122, 8): "למען אחי ורעי אדברה "ךב םולש אנ—for the sake of my brothers and companions, I shall wish for peace in your midst. Let us examine together the teachings of our blessed Rishonim and Acharonim—earlier and later sages—stressing how important it is for a Jew to create an atmosphere of peace and tranquility in his home on Shabbas Kodesh, the source of all berachos.
We shall begin our investigation with a teaching from the Gemara (Gittin 52a): והב ירגיאד ]השאו שיא :בקעי ןויע[ ירת יב והנה" ברע לש תושמשה ןיב :י"שר[ ישמש יב לכד ,]םהב הרגתמ היה ןטשהש[ ןטש םתהל ריאמ יבר עלקיא .]םהיניב םיבר ויה[ ידדה ידהב וצנימ אק ווה ]תבש בכיע[ אמלש והל דבעד דע ישמש יב אתלת והניבכע ,]םשל ריאמ יבר ןמדזנ[ יוו רמאקד היעמש ,]םהיניב םולש ושעש דע תותבש יברע השלש בירלמ םתוא :ומצע לע רמא ןטשהש ריאמ יבר עמש[ – "היתיבמ ארבג אוההל ריאמ יבר היקפאד ]."ותיבמ םדא ותואל ריאמ יבר ואיצוהש יוו" There was a man and a woman that the Satan incited regularly, so that they argued with one another at the onset of every Shabbas. Rabbi Meir visited there. He prevented them from arguing for three consecutive twilight periods (on erev Shabbas) until he made peace between them. Rabbi Meir heard the Satan say: "Woe, that Rabbi Meir has removed that man (the Satan) from his house."
This teaches us a frightening and disturbing fact. At the onset of every Shabbas, the Satan endeavors to upset the peace and calm in a Jew’s home and to instigate arguments and disharmony. So, let us attempt to explain why the Satan chooses to do so specifically on erev Shabbas at twilight. The simple explanation is that all matters are affected by the way they begin. It is for this reason that HKB"H commanded us to sanctify the firstborn and to bring the "bikkurim"—the first fruit or produce—to the Beit HaMikdash. Beginning matters properly and with kedushah insures more optimal results subsequently.
Concerning the laws of "muktzah" on Shabbas, we learn (Shabbas 43a): "אמוי ילוכל יאצקתא תושמשה ןיבל יאצקתאד וגימ"—since it is "muktzah" during twilight, it is "muktzah" for the entire day. In other words, if it is prohibited from use at the onset of the Shabbas, it remains prohibited for the entire duration of that Shabbas. Similarly, if the Satan succeeds in disrupting the "shalom" in one’s household at the onset of the Shabbas, the entire Shabbas can be ruined, chas v’shalom.
An Incredible Explanation from the Chasam Sofer zy"a
I would like to propose a wonderful thought concerning this subject. I found a true gem of an idea concerning this Gemara in the impeccable teachings of the Chasam Sofer, in Derashos Chasam Sofer. He explains in his own inimitable way why the Satan tries so hard to disrupt the harmony of a Jewish household on erev Shabbas. He refers to the well-known Zohar hakadosh which states (Yisro 88a): אמויב אתתו אליעלד ןאכרב לכ" "ןיילת האעיבש—all heavenly and earthly blessings depend on the seventh day. We learn that all of the six weekdays receive their blessings from Shabbas.
At the conclusion of the Mishnayos (Oktzim 3, 12), we learn: ,םולשה אלא לארשיל הכרב קיזחמ ילכ ה"בקה אצמ אל ,אתפלח ןב ןועמש יבר רמא" ."םולשב ומע תא ךרבי ’ה ןתי ומעל זוע ’ה )אי-טכ םילהת( רמאנש HKB"H did not find a better vessel to hold and preserve blessing for Yisrael than "shalom." In other words, "shalom" is a prerequisite for berachah. Therefore, it is crucial to fill a Jewish home with "shalom" on Shabbas. Only in this manner, will the house be a vessel worthy of holding and retaining the berachah and plenty that descends upon us on Shabbas. Furthermore, this vessel will then be able to supply the rest of the week with berachah. It is precisely for this reason that the Satan toils so vigorously to inject discord and provoke quarrels at the onset of the Shabbas. It does not want a Jewish home to be a vessel worthy of retaining berachah; as a consequence, the positive influence and plenty that descend on Shabbas will find no place to land.
With this understanding, the Chasam Sofer explains the juxtaposition of the following pesukim in our parsha (Shemos 35, 2): "הכאלמ השעת םימי תשש"—for a period of six days work may be done—however, be cognizant of the fact that the positive influence and plenty for the six weekdays comes from the Shabbas; "’הל ןותבש תבש שדוק םכל היהי יעיבשה םויבו"—but the seventh day shall be holy for you, a day of complete rest for Hashem; for this reason, "תמוי הכאלמ וב השועה לכ"—whoever does work on it shall be put to death—since he will be unable to draw life and sustenance from Shabbas. Hence, the Torah immediately adds the admonition: "שא ורעבת אל"—avoid anger and the fire of discontent at all cost--"תבשה םויב םכיתובשומ לכב"—in your homes on Shabbas. For, without "shalom"—peace and harmony—you will not possess a vessel capable of retaining the berachah and plenty that are bestowed upon us on Shabbas.
"Who spreads a shelter of shalom over us"
Now, in light of the Chasam Sofer’s explanation, we can appreciate the Zohar’s explanation (Bereishis 48a) as to why we conclude the berachah of "ונביכשה" differently on the night of Shabbas as compared to the rest of the week. On Shabbas we conclude the berachah:
הפורש סוכת שלום עלינו" "—Who spreads a shelter of shalom over us"; whereas on the other nights of the week, we conclude: "שומר עמו ישראל לעד" —Who protects His people Yisrael forever. Let us provide a translation of the passage in the Zohar hakadosh: "Come and see, when the day is sanctified on Shabbas
eve, a shelter of shalom rests and spreads out across the world . . . It is no longer necessary to pray for protection with the words "Who protects His people Yisrael forever. Amen." For, it is exclusively on weekdays that it was arranged that the world requires protection. On Shabbas, however, a shelter of shalom spreads over the world, and it is protected from all directions. And even the wicked in Gehinnom are protected. Everyone is at peace—those above and those below. Therefore, when the day is sanctified, we
recite the blessing: "הפורש סוכת שלום עלינו ועל כל עמו ישראל ועל ירושלים" —Who spreads a shelter of shalom over us and over his entire nation of Yisrael and over Yerushalayim.
According to the Chasam Sofer’s explanation, we can interpret the meaning of the Zohar hakadosh, based on the following Gemara (Shabbas 10b): "אמר לו הקב"ה למשה, מתנה טובה יש לי בבית גנזי ושבת שמה, ואני מבקש ליתנה לישראל" —HKB"H said to Moshe, "I have a special present in my treasure-house and its name is Shabbas; I wish to give it to Yisrael." Why is Shabbas referred to as " מתנה טובה "—a special present? Because in the merit of the Shabbas, all of the other six days of the week receive an abundance of good and special influences. Yet, the inclinations toward jealousy and the need for honor destroy the possibility of shalom—the vessel required to retain berachah. Consequently, the positive influence and plenty bestowed on the day of Shabbas serves no purpose.
Therefore, HKB"H combined the light of shalom with the gift of Shabbas. As a result, shalom rests on every Jewish home on Shabbas, making it a vessel worthy of retaining berachah. Thus, the abundant good that descends on Shabbas can be absorbed and retained and ultimately be transferred to the six weekdays.
Hence, we recite the formula on Shabbas eve: "הפורש סוכת שלום עלינו" —Who spreads a shelter of shalom over us.
Based on what we have learned, we can begin to comprehend the significance of another passage in the Zohar hakadosh concerning the shalom associated with Shabbas (Korach 176a): "Come and see. The world only exists due to shalom. When HKB"H created the universe, it could not continue to exist until shalom came along and rested upon it. And what is it? Shabbas, which is shalom in the heavens and on earth. Then the universe continued to exist. And whoever disputes it, is lost from the world." According to the Chasam Sofer’s explanation, the Zohar’s meaning is clear. The world cannot continue to exist without shalom. For, it is the only vessel capable of retaining berachah; only it can retain the abundance and influence that descends on Shabbas for the rest of the week. Therefore, HKB"H gave us the Shabbas, which is itself the light of shalom. It is for this very reason that it was instituted to light candles on erev Shabbas— for the sake of shalom in a Jewish home.
A Wonderful Explanation from the Maharam Shif
Let us now examine an explanation from the Maharam Shif on the Gemara (Gittin ibid.). He explains why the Satan strives to provoke discord on erev Shabbas at twilight. He refers to what we have learned in the Gemara (Shabbas 119a): "שני מלאכי השרת מלווין לו לאדם בערב שבת מבית הכנסת לביתו אחד טוב ואחד רע, וכשבא לביתו ומצא נר דלוק ושלחן ערוך ומטתו מוצעת, מלאך טוב אומר, יהי רצון שתהא לשבת אחרת כך, ומלאך רע עונה אמן בעל כרחו, ואם לאו מלאך רע אומר, יהי רצון שתהא לשבת אחרת כך, ומלאך טוב עונה אמן בעל כרחו". Two ministering angels accompany a person from the Beis HaKenesses to his home on erev Shabbas—a good one and a bad one. When he arrives home and finds a candle lit, the table set and his bed arranged, the good angel says: "It should be His will that it should be so on another Shabbas." The bad angel is forced to answer: "Amen."
If these conditions are not present, the bad angel says: "It should be His will that it should be so on another Shabbas." Then the good angel is forced to answer: "Amen." The Mateh Moshe explains that the bad angel who also accompanies a person home from the Beis HaKenesses is none other than the Satan. This is why he endeavors to provoke quarrels at the onset of the Shabbas. If successful, the house will not be arranged properly to honor the Shabbas. Consequently, when he accompanies a Jew home on the night of Shabbas from the Beis HaKenesses, along with the good angel, he will be able to curse that household, chas v’shalom; and the good angel will have no choice but to concur and answer: "Amen."
A reason is brought in the name of Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz, ztz"l, as to why the Satan attempts to incite specifically at the onset of the Shabbas. For, on the day of Shabbas itself, shalom reigns; it is part of the natural order of creation. We express this fact in Minchah on Shabbas: ... "יום מנוחה וקדושה לעמך נתת
מנוחת שלום ושלוה והשקט ובטח" —a day of rest and kedushah, did You give to Your people . . . a peace comprised of shalom, tranquility, calm and security. Therefore, the Satan is only able to incite and disrupt the state of shalom on erev Shabbas at twilight, but not on Shabbas itself. As we have learned, his explanation coincides perfectly with what we have learned from the Zohar hakadosh—that on Shabbas, HKB"H spreads a shelter of shalom--" סוכת שלום "—over us.
From all that has been said, we begin to appreciate how important it is for every Jew to do his very best to establish an atmosphere of shalom and harmony in his home on erev Shabbas. He must make every effort to avoid situations that may lead to controversy, so as not to break the vessel able to hold and retain berachah. For, as we now know, only shalom allows us to capture and retain the berachah that is bestowed upon us on Shabbas. And, according to the Tikunei Zohar, the mitzvas lo ta’aseh of: " לא תבערו אש בכל מושבותיכם ביום השבת "--you shall not light fire in any of your dwellings on the Shabbas day—encompasses this admonition not to kindle the fire of controversy and discontent in one’s home.
Rabbi Meir a Descendant of Eisav Strove to Promote Shalom
Let us return to the story involving Rabbi Meir. Recall that he spent three consecutive Shabbasos restoring shalom between a man and his wife. Ultimately, he drove the Satan out of their home. Having presented this incident, let us explain why Rabbi Meir tried so hard to promote shalom.
In the Midrash (D.R. 5, 14), we find another wonderful incident involving Rabbi Meir. At one of his lectures was a woman, whose husband got angry at her for attending his lecture. The husband ordered her to spit in Rabbi Meir’s face. When Rabbi Meir caught wind of this, he cleverly requested that this woman spit in his
face so as to annul an "ayin hara" from him. In this manner, he restored shalom between this man and wife.
Apparently, we can make sense of these incidents by referring to the Arizal’s explanation in Likutei Torah of the passuk (Bereishis 25, 28): " ויאהב יצחק את עשו כי ציד בפיו "—and Yitzchak loved Eisav, for trapping was in his mouth. Yitzchak loved Eisav, because sparks of kedushah were trapped in his mouth. This refers to the neshamos of Tannaim, who were the sons of converts, and descended from Eisav. Among them was the
neshamah of Rabbi Meir. He came from the offspring of Nero Caesar, as delineated in the Gemara (Gittin 56a): "ערק ואזל ואיגייר ונפק מיניה רבי מאיר" —he ran away and converted (to Judaism), and Rabbi Meir was descended from him. Therefore, when Eisav was killed, his head, along with the sparks of kedushah
trapped in his mouth, rolled into the lap of his father, Yitzchak, in the Mearas HaMachpeilah.
This agrees very nicely with what the Pninim Yekarim presents in parshas Vayishlach in the name of various ommentaries addressing the passuk (Bereishis 32, 8): " —"ויירא יעקב מאד ויצר לו and Yaakov became very frightened and it distressed him. Rashi comments: "He became frightened lest he be killed; and it distressed him were he to kill others (" ".("אחרים They suggest that Rashi is referring to the neshamah of the
Tanna Rabbi Meir. For, the Gemara (Horayot 13b) teaches us that he was referred to as " אחרים ". In other words, according to this interpretation of Rashi, Yaakov feared that he might kill Eisav and in the process cause the death of Rabbi Meir, known as " ."אחרים
The Wicked Eisav Hates Shalom
Let us also present a statement from the Midrash Shochar Tov regarding the passuk (Tehillim 120, 6): "רבת שכנה לה נפשי עם
שונא שלום. וכי יש אדם שונא שלום, עשו שונא השלום" —my soul has had its fill of dwelling with those who hate "shalom." Is there such a person who hates "shalom"? Eisav hates the reality of "shalom." Regarding this statement, the Chasam Sofer writes in parshas Toldos that the name 376 ) עש"ו ) has the same numerical value as 376 ) שלו"ם ). He is the "shalom" of tumah and is therefore referred to as hating "shalom."
In fact, we find an earlier source for this numerical equivalence, the Ba’al HaTurim on parshas Toldos (Bereishis 25, 25): "עשו בגימטריא שלום" . Also, in parshas Pinchas, regarding HKB"H’s promise to Pinchas (Bamidbar 25, 12), the Megaleh Amukos writes: "לכן אמור הנני נותן לו את בריתי שלום, לקביל עש"ו שהוא שונא שלו"ם, שכן עשו בחושבנא שלום" —HKB"H gives Pinchas His covenant of "shalom," in direct contrast to Eisav, who detests and opposes "shalom." For, 376 ) עש"ו ) has the same numerical value as 376 ) שלו"ם ).
Now, we can suggest that this is why Rabbi Meir was so vigilant and adamant about promoting "shalom." Seeing as his neshamah was concealed in Eisav’s mouth—who opposed "shalom" with the full force of his tumah—Rabbi Meir was wary lest even a single speck of this klipah cling to his neshamah. Therefore, he made every effort humanly possible to promote "shalom" between a man and his wife.
Thus, we have learned how important it is to make every effort to avoid controversy on erev Shabbas. In this merit, we will be worthy of truthfully uttering the berachah: "הפורש סוכת שלום עלינו ועל כל עמו ישראל ועל ירושלים" —Who spreads a shelter of shalom over us and over his entire nation of Yisrael and over Yerushalayim.
Also from Rav Friedman
An Amazing Segula for couples who argue on Erev Shabbos
I was taught this segulah by my teacher and Rebbe, the esteemed Rebbe of Belz, shlita. I was approached years ago by a distinguished couple, because they would quarrel on every erev Shabbas. Despite all of their efforts, they were unsuccessful in preventing these damaging and unsettling arguments. They requested that I approach the Rebbe to inquire as to what they should do.
The Rebbe shlita instructed me to have them study together, every erev Shabbas, the passage in the Gemara Masechet Gittin (52a): "הנהו בי תרי דאיגרי בהו שטן, דכל בי שמשי הוו קא מינצו בהדי הדדי, איקלע רבי מאיר להתם, עכבינהו תלתא בי שמשי עד דעבד להו שלמא. שמעיה דקאמר ווי דאפקיה רבי מאיר לההוא גברא מביתיה". There was a man and a woman that the Satan incited regularly, so that they argued with one another at the onset of every Shabbas. Rabbi Meir visited there. He prevented them from arguing for three consecutive twilight periods (on erev Shabbas) until he made peace between them. Rabbi Meir heard the Satan say: "Woe, that Rabbi Meir has removed that man (the Satan) from his house." They proceeded to do so and, with Hashem’s favor, they succeeded in finding "
More from the Ben Ish Chai, the Chida, and Rav Chaim Falagi.
Let us present what some of our great luminaries have written on this subject. We shall begin with the words of the great gaon Chida, ztz"l. He writes compellingly in Avodas HaKodesh:
"בהעלות המנחה בערב שבת קודש, הוא עת מסוכן למחלוקות בין איש לאשתו ובין המשרתים, והרבה טורח הסטרא אחרא בזה לחרחר ריב, והאיש הירא יכוף יצרו ולא יעורר שום מחלוקה והקפדה, ואדרבה יבקש שלום, וילך לשלום, ויתפלל מנחת ערב שבת קודש כהוגן בישוב ובחזרה, כי הוא זמן גילוי אורות שבת קודש בשמים ממעל". Minchah time on erev Shabbas Kodesh is a dangerous time, prone to quarrels and disputes between and man and his wife and among the servants. The "negative force" goes to great lengths to provoke arguments and controversy. A wary, G-d-fearing person will control his yetzer so as not to arouse any controversy and take care not to be overly strict with others. On the contrary, he will seek shalom, exhibit shalom and pray Minchah on erev
Shabbas properly and calmly with sound mind. For, that is the time the illumination of Shabbas Kodesh is revealed in the heavens above.
The great author of the Ben Ish Chai, who cites the words of the Chida, adds some essential points that should be reviewed and kept in mind on every erev Shabbas:
"ודע כי הנה כל אדם העושה קטטה ומריבה עם אשתו או בניו או משרתיו, ודאי נראה לו שהדין עמו, וראוי לריב על המכשלה שיצאה מתחת ידם בעניני הבית, אך באמת מי שיש לו מוח בקדקדו, בין יבין שאם יצא איזה מכשול מתחת ידם, איננו נעשה מאתם, ואין זה מעשה ידיהם, אלא הוא מעשה שטן כדי לחרחר ריב ומדון בעת ההיא. ואם השטן עומד כנגד האשה או המשרת, ומכשילם בעניני הבית לעשות דבר שאינו מתוקן לבעל הבית, מה כוחם לדחות מעשה שטן, וכי יש אדם שיוכל להילחם עם השטן ולנצחו, מי זה יאמר יכולתי וניצחתיו. על כן כל איש מבין, כשיראה איזה מכשול וחסרון בענינים של הבית, לא ישים אשמה על אשתו ומשרתיו לריב אתם, אלא יתן אל לבו ההתנצלות הזאת שכתבנו כי אמת היא, ו אז ישתוק ולא יריב אתם ולא יתכעס, וטוב לו בעולם הזה ובעולם הבא".
Know that every person who quarrels with his wife or children or servants, certainly believes that he is justified and that it is worthwhile discussing and disputing what has gone amiss in the home. Yet, any person with half a mind should comprehend that it was not their fault or their doing. The inappropriate act was the work of the Satan aimed at provoking an argument and creating disharmony at that crucial time.
If the Satan tripped them up and caused them to perform an inappropriate act that would concern or upset the master of the house, what power do they possess against the Satan? Therefore any understanding person, seeing a problem regarding his household, should not blame his wife or servants; and he should not enter into a dispute with them. Rather, he should keep in mind the truth of the matter, which we have just presented; for it is the actual truth. As a result, he will remain silent, will not argue with them and will not get angry. This will benefit him both in this world and in the World to Come.
In the sefer Kaf HaChaim authored by the great Rabbi Chaim Palagi, ztz"l, (27, 35), he also cites the aforementioned Chida, and adds the following frightening concerns:
"ואנכי עבדו מוסיף על דבריו, דאני הגבר ראה עיני, דבכל בית שהיה מחלוקת בערב שבת לעת ערב או בליל שבת, היה בדוק ומנוסה כי רעה נגד פניהם, ולא יצאו נקיים באותו שבוע באיזה מקרה רע, דוק ותשכח. ומרגלא בפומי לומר לבני ביתי בכל דבר, מאמרם זכרונם לברכה, דצריך למימרינהו בניחותא. ופעם אחת בליל שבת בשנת תקע"ה, שהייתי דר עם שכנים אחרים, שמעתי דהשכן היה עושה קטטה עם אשתו אחר הקידוש על דבר מאכל, ותיכף קמתי מעל שלחני והלכתי וישבתי על שלחנו, וכשראו אותי נבהלו נחפזו, ועשו שלום ביניהם, ובכל פעם שהיה רואה אותי, היה מחזיק לי טובה, ואומר אלי, אותה הלילה היתה ל י לאות ולזכרון, שלא עשיתי עוד קטטה עם אשתי אף שעברו ימים ושנים. וזה כתבתיו בספר, כדי שממני יראו וכן יעשו כל אחד עם שכנו הקרוב אל ביתו, והיתה הרווחה, שאם הוא משים שלום בין אדם לחבירו ובין איש לאשתו, לא יתכן שהוא יעשה קטטה ומחלוקת, ומרבים שלום בעולם". I have seen with my own eyes that in any household where there was a controversy on erev Shabbas, it is a proven fact that something negative befell them during that following week. It is crucial to remind all family members of this fact and to speak with all family members courteously and pleasantly. Once on Shabbas night 5575, I lived with different neighbors. I overheard the neighbor arguing with his wife after Kiddush about the food. I immediately rose from my table and went to sit by their table. Seeing me startled them and took them aback. They hurriedly made shalom between themselves. Whenever he saw me, he was grateful. He would tell me that that night serves as a constant reminder; he said that he has not quarreled with his wife again since then, even though many years had passed. I write this in the sefer, so that everyone will behave similarly with their close neighbors. Thus, everyone benefits. For, if he helps make shalom between fellow Jews and between a man and his wife, it is unlikely that he will cause a conflict or dispute. Thus, shalom will prevail throughout the world.
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This Mamar is dedicated for A Refuah Shleima of Rav Yosef Mordchai Simcha Ben Binah
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